punk ass bitch

 

This one is for the heads… Hung in shame. Over the years, attending hip hop shows in Vancouver, mingling with the scene, supporting local artists, we have come across a lot of talent. Unfortunately, we have also stumbled upon a lot of garbage, I mean, tons, like, theres a garbage crisis and we don’t know where to dump all the trash. Some has probably spilled over onto your facebook, youtube, whatever social media accounts you have. There is no escaping the endless amounts of doodoo hiphop staining the fabric of the scene. For your inconvenience we have compiled a list of the absolute worst videos we could find. You may not agree with the order, or all of the selections (you may have friends on it) but we feel very strongly that you will agree with 85% of what we have to say here. We may even help steer you away from gabbage ass music in the future with todays education. So with that said, here is the 15 worst videos we could find, plus 5 special dishonourable mentions.

 

#15 – D-Kay – VanCity Shit

Now this is a great way to start the list, kus he reps vancity so hard. Only problem is, this aint really repping well for anybody. Man says ‘I love LG’s and I mean that’, so hopefully hes a really young dude, kus otherwise, it aint a good look. Anyways, this is not Vancity shit, this is Van shitty shit.

 

#14 – Will B – Dreamchase

This one is special, someone get DJ Khaled. Time to make yo’ decision, is you wit’ it? Keep chasing ya dream home boy, but for everyone else, this is a nightmare.

 

#13 – HoodRich – Countin’

Shitty rappers always think people hate on em kus they’re shining and balling or whatever, but the fact of the matter is that couldnt be further from the truth. We dont hate on you kus you’re getting paid, we hate on you kus you’re buying your way into the game. First of all, Kendrick killed that beat and bitch you killed my vibe. Second off, you suck at rapping, thats why we hate, keep countin’ ya money, stopping counting bars tho.

 

#12 -Family Compact- Unity

This is a great example of how a decent video will not make up for a shitty song. We give our props for the B-Film, good stuff, lil power rangers shout out, cool. But lyrically, sonically, the flows, damn, the family should keep compacting itself until it is so small that we cant hear from em again.

 

#11- Ghost – One by One

Ghost, if you really were, that’d be a lot better, but you’re not, we see you and we just wish you would live up to your name and get gone. One by One, every song you put out pushes us one step further from hiphop.

 

#10 – Little T – For My City

For your city aye? Shoulda checked with the city if they wanted to be repped by 14 year old girl… Oh wait, but thats a man in his mid twenties, most 14 year old girls would put him to shame. Sorry 14 year old girls, didnt mean to offend with the comparison. And no one is putting their V’s up ever, you ruined V’s for everyone bro, evening taking someones virginity doesnt seem as exciting after this.

 

#9 – Greg Beamish – Walking Down Robson

Greg B, the man just got a great review on his new album from HipHop Canada (sarcasm at its best). Now Hip Hop Canada is whatever at best, but they got this review right, shout outs to whoever the writer was, kus they dont usually have the balls to say some real shit, but they did. The album is trash and so is this video. “Jumpin around like a fucking clown” forreal bro, you wrote that, then you thought it was good enough to keep. Word. Nuff said. Terrible look for Robson, but dont worry, the chances of you running into Greg and recognizing him are about as slim as him recouping his parents money with his album.

 

#8 – Heatwave – Bad Girl

Who’s the bad girl? Is it the underage girls that snuck into the video shoot (legit point, my boy was there) or is the male vocalist thats shaking his booty on the stage at Venue? Someone get Heatwave a helmet and a mouth guard, isn’t it mandatory for someone special like him to rock those? Red One, definitely a Vancity legend, we will always love you for your run with the Rascals and Top of the World with K-OS and Barrington Levy. But is he prejudice against talented artists? he only seems to sign untalented artists, excluding Juice Justice, that dudes nice with it.

 

#7 – B-Orion – So Fresh So Fly

Word. This song and video is proof that not all brothers can rap or dance. These 2 cant do either. Im pretty sure if the mirror on the wall was to talk it would tell them to shut the fuck up and let em know that they’re clowns. Gotta love the eye candy in the video, nothing says fresh and fly like a fine honey all botox and plastic surgery’d up, oyaa. This song epitomizes the shitty side of HipHop.

 

#6 – Haze Ent ft. WC -Westside Riding

How did they ever get WC to say that at the beginning of the record!? Wtf!? This song is proof that paying for a famous feature wont make you a better rapper and if you suck, your song is still gonna suck, no matter who you pay to get on it. WC, you’re a legend, I hope they paid you a shit ton, kus this is a bad look homie.

 

#5 – NC 4 Life – Somestimes

I dont know who these guys are, never came across them anywhere on the scene except on onehood.ca. But forreal, this is bad, I feel bad just for sharing this, like, im embarrassed for their parents right now. Sometimes you come across music that makes you want to stab yourself in your ear holes, repeatedly, thats how I feel every time I hear this. Luckily I dont think they will be around for long, sometimes you do something and then quit because you realize it has no place for you. Sometimes.

 

#4 – Tee Locasone – 604%

First of all, Tee Loc makes the top 5 in this list just by the nature of his existence. We didn’t want to double up on any artists and thats the only reason there is only one of his videos here. This is the one we decided to roll with because hes obviously repping the lower mainland throughout and thats the problem. Bro, theres nothing cool about glorifying gang violence, kus unfortunately a lot of the victims from these gang shootings are innocent by standers who didnt deserve to die because of clowns like you. Second of all, the only reason no one tells you you’re wack kus theyre afraid of repercussions from you gang connects and clearly you’re surrounded by yes men. The whole ‘604%’ is terrible word play and a silly if not shitty song concept. I do however agree with this “Im sick of all the bullshit” quote in the hook, unfortunately, the bullshit is your music. PS, the umbrella in the sunshine is a cute look for a gangster.

 

#3 – Baby C – Back Up Plan

Theres nothing trashier than a trashy slut dancing and rapping on top of a trash can. Gotta love the awkward work out shots and the overuse of the word ‘gyea’ is so extreme it would even make MC Eight quiver.

 

#2 –  Profreshnill – Swagnum

The title of the song says it all. The song is so horrible we are surprised that it has not gone viral as an awesome worldwide joke. “I got a 9 millimetre swagnum and Im cocking it back, bout to shoot all you haters” Rap doesnt get any worse than this. Truly, this is the bottom of the rap barrel. Its actually impressive in the absolute worst way possible.

 

#1 – Money Hungry – Rolling in East Van

Everything about this is just awful. The hook, the video, the lyrics, the flows, the message. How did this crew ever get Matt Brevners support? He seems like an intelligent man, but that seems like dumb decision. The worst part about this song/video tho, is how East Van suffers from such representation. Please viewers, I beg you to not think this is what East Van is like. East van is such a dope area, but homeless folks have moved downtown since this video came out. Also, as far as I know, drug dealers dont get paid in cheques, so that dont make sense. And that girls voice, who told her to get in the booth, better yet, who decided to keep what she did in the booth on the track? But I guess, if you keep the beat and those verses, you might as well keep that shrill attempt at singing in there too, why not. This whole production is atrocious and it takes the cake because of how it attempts to rep East Van. East Van however did nothing to deserve this. Money Hungry should apologize to East Van asap.

 

 

Dishonourable Mentions;

 

1- Dysfunctional – Poppin’ Molly

Coulda easily made top 5. Like we said, we didnt want to have repeat offenders in our top 15, this is Money Hungry member Dysfunctional once again repping for his city in the worst way possible.

 

2- Keep 6ix – Light The Streets Up

Everything from the spelling of their group name, to their ridiculous outfits, this had to make it. The only reason its not in the top 15 is because its not an official music video, but I have seen these guys live and they are clowns; they had to be on this list somewhere. If they had an official music video, it would most likely be top 5.

 

3- NoVice City – No Matter What They Say

Well we already know that what we say wont stop him from making more music, dunno if thats good tho. Everything about this video is cool, except the rapping and hook, actually just the beat and video quality are good. Too good to break into the toip 15, but the way they try to rep Vancity is a bad look for the lower mainland, thus it needed the dishonourable mention.

 

4- Terrel Safadi – Art of Flight

I hope this guy flies a plane better than he raps. If not everyone on board is fucked.

 

5- Tom MacDonald – Growing Pains

This isnt really a rap video, but Im pretty sure he does rap. In the video it seems like hes questioning the path he took in pursuing the music business. We are here to say, keep questioning it, you might have a moment of clarity real soon and that in turn would save us from experiencing another video like this.

 

 

 

 

 

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Vancouvers 15 Worst HipHop Videos of All-Time

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